Archive for June, 2013


Really, Really Like Me

Really, Really Like Me.

This is a link to a new book written by another Aspergirl who’s blog I follow named Gretchen Leary.

Check it out!

I know I haven’t really blogged anything of significance in a long time. It’s been very hard to sit down and concentrate. If I’m not working at the house, I’m too tired to do anything but veg in front of the TV and watch either Disney’s Hercules (repeatedly) on Netflix with Tantrum Tot or Sheldon (Big Bang Theory) with wifey and Aspie Teen. But serious thinking has been beyond me for a while.

We ran into a rough patch, the 99 Dodge Grand Caravan that we owned outright turned over, kicked it’s legs up and waved a final goodbye. The 235,000 miles on the engine/tranny finally proved too much for the old girl. (the constant slamming of the doors by my proprioceptive Aspie Teen probably didn’t help either)….

We tried to trade up my Jeep Patriot (SO want to be rid of the thing) to a larger sized vehicle from a dealership, but was turned down by everyone and their proverbial grandmothers….we finally had to settle on a buy-here-pay-here place which we were VERY reluctant to do because every time we’ve done that, the cars have been total crap and died on us and left us stranded. 

But we found a lot that not only used the old van as a down payment, but they financed in a warranty with the car, and included gap insurance in the payment. And if we get into a wreck and the car is totaled, they give you $800 towards the purchase of another car on their lot. So we’re very hopeful that the 2002 Ford (Found On Road Dead) Freestar minivan won’t be that big a source of contention in the near future. 

The second vehicle HAD to be a minivan or something with a third bench seeing as how we’re going to be adding a second car seat to our vehicle very soon. AND we wanted a vehicle where the two oldest (and loudest) members of our tribe could sit…FAR away from the front/driver. My kids this summer are being their ultimate loudest selves ever. They can’t regulate their volume. So the yell-at-your-brother volume is the same as the comment over something on TV volume…24/7. Couple that with a very Hyper sensitive Aspie Wife…you can imagine the levels of stress that have been permeating our Aspie house lately.

On top of the van situation, the power source on wifey’s computer crapped out and we had to find a replacement. And of course Bestbuy and Radio Shack didn’t have it. So now we had to order one on Amazon..in the meantime, wifey was forced to use this ancient decrepit laptop that I use which freezes if you have more than one window running at a time. 

THEN my 9 year old Aspie Monkey Boy contracted head lice again…(you know I’m from Brooklyn NY and I grew up very poor and lived in some rough neighborhoods and I’ve NEVER seen lice be not only so prevalent as it is down here in SC, but RECURRING!!!! WTH??? Anyway, we had to shampoo EVERYONE’s head, wash down EVERYTHING in the house AGAIN…cut EVERYONE’s HAIR off AGAIN…it was exhausting! 

In a few weeks we have an appointment in Charleston SC to get Tot evaluated FINALLY…only the hotels are ASTRONOMICALLY priced  and even though my wife is refusing to consider it right now, it’s looking more and more like we might have to get up and leave at 3 am. drive down to the appointment (3 hours away) at 8 am and  then drive back without staying…won’t THAT be fun?!

Aspie Fetus is due in September and I have to redo the house to accommodate his arrival..but something is wrong with the air vents and the two rooms upstairs aren’t getting ANY air up there…and I think I’m going to have to switch the master bedroom from downstairs to upstairs so that we are closer to the baby, because wifey is freaking out about  our room being downstairs and not being big enough to accommodate the baby in it at all….and I think I’ve mentioned before that I am so NOT Mr. Fix It…I’m Mr. Call Mr. Fix It. However Mr. Fix It down here in SC charges an arm, a leg and sometimes a spleen to fix anything. And oh yeah the bathroom light in the downstairs bathroom won’t stay on and the water is running brown out of the faucet in the upstairs tub and when you turn on the shower, water sprays everywhere. (We did not know we were buying a fixer-upper when we bought it, but when we bought it, we were in one of those pretty dire need to buy now so I won’t be homeless next month emergency situations). 

On a positive note, my wife’s book Twirling Naked In The Streets-And No One Noticed, is doing well. I’m not quitting my day job anytime soon because of it, but for a first book/publication, we’re encouraged by how well it’s doing. 

We are going to be writing/blogging a second book soon. It will be on being in an NT/Aspie relationship, from both perspectives. We will blog the book from both our blogs first, chapter by chapter as we write it, and then after we do that, we will publish it as we did our first one, for our David & Goliath Publishing company we started. So please stay tuned for that and if you want to offer any suggestions on a topic you would like to see covered in that book please drop a line to let us know. 

Anyway, I’m currently surrounded by Aspie Monkey Boy and his friend running around in super hero costumes…Tantrum Tot running around chasing them in his Knight costume and my aspie wife who is so tired, she can’t speak right sitting across from me staring at me with glassy eyes. The noise levels are incredible and I want to bang my head (and several other heads) against the wall. 

I’m signing off…before I’m thrown off..

 

My wife, the light of my life, the apple of my eye, the rice with my beans, the steamed milk in my cafe con leche…

She has now become the autism category expert at http://www.answers.com  !!!

Check out the website at http://autism.answers.com/expert

Also, PLEASE go like our Independent Publisher’s Page on Facebook and follow us on Twitter!

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Tot is sitting so nice and quiet in the chair, munching on a sucker, letting this stylist cut his hair with no fuss or muss…making liars out of us, his parents…who offered an apology to everyone in Great Clips right before they got started based on the racket he made last time!!!

(Disclaimer Alert!!! This post is full of anxiety filled frustration and most likely not a few curse words)

I’ve battled against this feeling for a long time. I try to really fight it, not give in to it, rebuke it….but at the end of the day the truth remains the same…there are people out there that really suck and the real battle is to not give in to the dark side and smack the living shit out of them! (Not crossing to the dark side is very hard knowing they have cookies)

Without going into too much detail, I’m incredibly frustrated with people who are so concerned with their pockets (money), their own personal power or prestige and who look down their noses at people who can’t exist at their level.

I have discovered living here, more than any other place I’ve lived that money is their God and they will do anything to bow down at it’s altar.

This weekend wasn’t as bad as some others. We have definately had worse in this house.

Tantrum Tot, though not at his worst, had some pretty Tantrum-y stages, but on the whole he was good for him. More than once this weekend my wife and I yet again pondered how a child could be so adorable yet so evil at the same time.

He can snuggle and make the most adorable noises, and you can tell that he is communicating…and if I only understand baby-ese I could learn the secrets of the universe. And then jump up and wreak havoc and misery on a household scale and then just as suddenly revert back to adorable.

Aspie Monkey Boy has been enjoying his summer days, full of freedom and hanging out with the girls next door or his friend from down the row of townhouses we live in. However, when those children are not around or can’t play or he can’t go over there, he goes into agitated, melt down mode, arguing, complaining, slamming doors, stomping feet, and ultimately being threatened with bodily harm by yours truly after failed attempts to reason with him. But first thing in the mornings, before anything has gone wrong, he’ll climb into bed and demand snuggles..and curl up with you and bury his head in your chest and make you wish that moment could go on forever.

Aspie Teen is doing his best moody teenager impersonation lately. Rarely venturing from the cave of Aspie-ness which is his room. Coming out to eat, drink, drop a few announcements, and try to cajole a new video game from us. Then retreat back upstairs to the relative sanctity (and messiness) which is his room.

Friday night, my wife posted this blog from the kids. Note the entry from Aspie Teen. Then late Friday night, Aspie Monkey Boy gives me the card below that he made for me.

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Father’s Day started out pretty routine. I was in bed…Tantrum Tot woke up at his usual 7:30 a.m. time frame..(that kid, no matter what time he goes to bed, will NOT stay in bed past that time). I got up, gave him a bottle, changed his pamper and settled him in front of the TV and Jake and the Neverland Pirates. made my cappuccino, and 3 slices of raisin toast with cream cheese, sat in the armchair and tried to continue reading the Wheel of Time by Robert Jordan which I recently started re-reading on my beloved Kindle Fire.

Half a mug and 5 pages later, my peace has been declared over by the reigning monarch in the pamper. I have to push him around the house in the car that my wife bought him (against my vehement objections I might add). Then I have to push a toy car to and fro with him, which all things considered was pretty cool because it kept him quiet and I got to lay down for a bit while doing it.

Then Aspie Monkey Boy came out the room and pandemonium broke loose. These two youngsters have an official yet undeclared rivalry going on. When one is around the other the contest of wills begins for who is going to be the dominant one vying for the attention of whichever parental unit is present.

Still I managed to keep an atmosphere of controlled chaos, on a quiet scale going. Wifey was still asleep after all. She came out after a while asking if the magic button had any magic in it, which is code for did you set up my coffee maker yet?  I assured her there was magic at the ready and she proceeded to make her coffee. Well she sat down for about 5 minutes when Monkey Boy insisted it was time for gifts!

So she got the gifts from Monkey Boy and Tommy and Aspie Fetus that she had taken them to get. Now Aspie Dad LOVES gifts, so of course he was happy! LOL

They got me a very nice shirt and tie (for work) a bank jar with a built in counter to keep the mountains of loose change I keep scattered on the top of the the dressers in my room, honey’s not so subtle way of saying get rid of it. Then Aspie Teen made his morning appearance and of course he had to have the prerequisite amount of drama before giving me my gift, which was a a very nice silver ID bracelet.

Well wifey of course has a day planned because she refuses to let any of our holidays slink into the halls of obscurity without an attempt to make them more memorable for us. Of course money is tight, the budget is ridiculously lacking but she can plan with the best  of them, so we get a bucket of KFC, and off to the park we go.

We are in luck, since it’s so bloody hot outside, practically no one else is there so Tantrum Tot can run amok enjoying himself on the playground. I was able to toss the frisbee around with the boys for a while while wifey sat on the picnic table I had dragged to a shaded spot under some trees in front of the playground where she could keep watch on the Tot as he climbed all around the playground.

Aspie Teen kept trying to keep his angry bird impersonation going but each time he say how his little brother and I were having fun, kept coming back to play, which his mom and I found quite amusing.

Well after being DRENCHED in sweat, Tantrum Tot demanded I take him to the swings. While I was trying to swing him a young girl came down and asked if I minded if she took some pics of us. She apparently was from the local paper and she was sent out in the middle of a 90 degree Sunday to get some pictures of Father’s playing with their kids! (I haven’t checked the paper yet to see if I made it).

Well we were going to go out to the pool when we got back, but wifey was wilted from the heat and had to lay down and Tantrum Tot passed out and before I knew it Aspie Teen was waking me up 2 hours later saying YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO TAKE US TO THE POOL!

All in all it was a pretty mild weekend which for use in this house translates into being a very good weekend. We had the usual fights, and misunderstandings. The required melt downs and tantrums. The obligatory threatening of the lives and physical well being by yours truly, and the inevitable making up and lounging in front of the TV which is the most useful behavior modifying tool in our house as long as the channel isn’t changed from the Disney Channel.

Today I am off from work and have an appointment with wifey and have to try to find a mechanic who will look at the van today. Oh joy!

Typically, I’ve been trying to write this post since yesterday…we’ve had a pretty interesting weekend. Yesterday my wife and I went out to buy a vacuum. We dropped Tot off at his grandmother’s, Monkey Boy was next door at a party and Aspie Teen was holed up in his cave of Aspie-ness with his cell phone next to him, playing PS3.

We enjoyed an almost never happens lunch by ourselves at Olive Garden and bought our new vacuum at Kohl’s (one of my favorite stores) along with a shirt and 2 ties for me for work. Found a new bedroom comforter set on sale dirt cheap (and quality wise cheap as well but hell it was NEW) at Kmart and decided to grab it and go along with some new pillows for the master bed room. I was beginning to feel spoiled! LOL! We borrowed her mom’s steam cleaner to tackle cleaning the rugs that our Aspie Tribe have so diligently destroyed since we’ve moved in. (First chance I get, I’m ripping them up and putting Pergo down!) and headed home.

We get home and spent most of the rest of the evening and night cleaning rugs. Which didn’t come out perfect but hell it was better than it was, while Tantrum Tot enjoyed climbing in and out of the box the vacuum came in. Sometime around 10:00 ish we (at least I) passed out feeling very accomplished and happy with the fruits of our labor. 

Sunday morning. Wifey let me sleep in. I was exhausted from waking up 4x in the night to put Monkey Boy back in his bed, and give Tantrum Tot bottles when he woke up crying all night. Anyway I come outside feeling like I can go back to bed easily for another 24 hours. However I am greeted to the sight of paper towels laid down on my freshly cleaned rugs! Not to mention Tantrum Tot running around BUCK NAKED carrying a Rock Band guitar! 

I look over to my wife who told me he woke up at 6:30 and wanted his pants off so he could go potty, (we’ve been attempting to try to start potty training him) and he has it in his head that he won’t get dressed or put on a pamper when he wants to go potty. So he peed 2 or 3 times on my freshly shampooed rugs, not to mention ALL over the potty training seat we bought him. 

Monkey Boy is awake and bouncing off the walls hyper as always. I got up and made myself some coffee WISHING with all my might that I could turn this into Irish coffee instead. While drinking and trying to type this post, Tantrum Tot put his brother in the box, closed the flaps, and sat on it and wouldn’t let him get out of the box! Now HE (Tot) is in the box, making his brother pretend like he’s a jack in the box and screaming if he doesn’t do this or that with him in a voice so high pitched I swear dogs all over the neighborhood are trying to stick their heads in the ground.

I think I’m going to pour some Baileys into this mug. After that I have to finish cleaning the rugs again and do the dining room too.

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We’ve had a not so good week in our house. Wifey is tired and short of temper, and she’s TIRED and her moods are swinging left to right and oh yeah she’s tired! Her heartburn from the most likely hairy beast growing inside her is giving Zantac a run for its money. (When Tantrum Tot came out, his hairline started at his eyebrows…I called him Frodo almost immediately)….Today wifey’s hyper senses were in full swing and the kids were in full volume!

My job has been VERY stressful and frustrating this week. I’m trying to catch up from being out on our vacation, and its summer so the people I supervise are using vacation time and we’re very short handed and since I’ve been back I’ve been getting frustrated that the people I have working for me keep asking the SAME BLOODY QUESTIONS every BLOODY day!

Well anyway I get home after I’ve been drenched in the rain all day and of course once I’m home the sun starts shining…

Wifey and I go to pick up Tantrum Tot from day care, and Aspie Teen comes stampeding down the stairs and says “Hey Dad, can you bring back some steak?” Apparently Ruby Tuesday has been running a commercial all day about a steak meal or something and he’s been obsessing about it all day. Man if I ever asked my dad for a steak he’d belt me! Aspie Teen has no idea how good he has it!

Anyway we get to the daycare and they tell us what a  good day he had He didn’t even cry when we picked him up, (like he does EVERY time we pick him up), he actually laughed handed his knapsack to his mom and proudly said “my bag!”  

Warm and fuzzy feelings well up in his mother and I…we are SO proud he’s starting to communicate so well!

Well we get home and when I unstrap him from his chair, he immediately gets out the chair and climbs into the drivers seat and starts pretending to drive. I let that go on for a minute or two and say ok that’s enough let’s go inside, and the happy fuzzy feeling evaporated as he started living up to his name. I hooked him around the belly, brought him inside and wifey put the latch on the door behind us.

Well he starts hitting me now, cause he can’t go back in the car. So of course I lightly smack his hand after telling him no hit a few times. He goes into the fake screaming mode. You know those fake screams kids do? Tot is only 2 and has his down cold! It makes me wish his voice would change already!

Well we call his brothers down stairs to play with him and distract him, only HOLY HELL they are in full blast mode today! Every word, every movement resulted in high pitched screaming, loud bangs, Tantrum Tot crying…mommy is in her chair in the corner and I’m seeing the rocking begin.

I finish doing the dishes that sat there since I don’t know when…and throw the boys upstairs to continue the daily destruction of the Aspie Cave up there. (Meaning they can continue to DESTROY the room and make the oh-so-special messes they are so gifted at making).

Wifey apparently has watched the commercials with Aspie Teen cause she’s wanting steak too. Tantrum Tot passed out very early tonight, and Aspie Monkey Boy doesn’t eat steak, he wants Mexican chips and cheese dip. I scrounge around for some money, order the 2 for $20 steak dinner from Applebee’s with Aspie Teen’s favorite artichoke dip and mashed potatoes (another Aspie Teen favorite and broccoli (another Aspie Teen LOVE item). I stop off on the way home and get Monkey Boy his requested items. Dad is doing good, he ‘s got food to satisfy every one’s personal interest tonight, and he was able to do it without going broke! I’m all proud of myself…..which is why I should have known SOMETHING was about to go sideways.

I call Aspie Teen from downstairs and he comes storming down. He sees Monkey Boy’s cheese dip and cheese and thinks “Yay! Mexican!” I told him no that was Matty’s food his food is coming out the bags now. He sees the food come out of the bag and these were his comments:

“That’s not Ruby Tuesday steak” I told him no it was Applebee’s and he’s had it from there before and liked it. I ordered it medium well the way he’s been eating it lately. (I personally go for the medium to medium rare myself). I’m cutting the steaks into slices to spread them out between him, wifey and myself and he started complaining about EVERYTHING.

It looks too red …Dude it’s not too red I got it medium well…well it’s too pink…dude it’s fine…have some mashed potatoes we have 2 orders so you can really dig in….no thanks…well have some broccoli, you always love broccoli….nah…I don’t feel like it today….I don’t really want steak….YOU JUST ASKED ME FOR STEAK AN HOUR AGO!!!!  Yeah but I wanted Ruby Tuesday (which he’s never even had before)…his mother lost it…she was looking forward to the steak and sitting down together to eat it and he was killing her buzz with all his negativity. I really thought she was going to lose it! 

Apparently the minute he saw the chips and cheese dip his brother had, he became disinterested in the other items. He does this all the time. It’s very frustrating. He’ll want something so bad…and beg and cajole and plot for something and when he gets it, he uses it once or twice and drops it on the floor. 

In the end, he ate the steak and the cheese dip leaving the potatoes and broccolli for me to finish up. His mother had some steak and mashed potatoes, and halfway through the meal her spirits starting lifting. Aspie Teen is safely out of arms reach upstairs. Monkey Boy is parked in front of Netflix again and Tantrum Tot is asleep. 

GOOD NIGHT!

OK I was sitting here looking at other people’s blogs, feeling a little intimidated and impotent when I consider some of the posts I’ve blogged about in the past…honestly today I am just feeling BLAH and didn’t have a lot left in me to put up a post and was crossed between feeling like I was frustrated of having nothing to say and feeling like I just could give a shit today.

Work was BUSY and FRUSTRATING and I got nothing that I set out to do accomplished and  had to divert my priorities to fix other people’s laziness and idiocy. So that wasn’t a good day. Wifey was home all day with the boys and Tantrum Tot was especially Tantrum Tot-tie today AND she had to deal with her MOTHER which quite honestly is so emotionally and mentally trying that when I got home from work she was PASSED out!

I had to go to the in laws and pick up the Totster. Apparently my wife bought Tot a set of plastic golf clubs today. While I was driving home, I got whacked on the back of the head with the new clubs! OH JOY! We get home and his Tot-ness is screaming and NOT communicating at all, until he finally went to bed.

So wifey and I are in the dining room where her desk/pc is and  I’m at the dining room table on the ancient laptop I use. Aspie Monkey Boy came in from the living room, and kicked a small Nerf football across the room accidentally and it teetered from side to side all the way across the floor.

I swear to GOD I thought it was a rat! I jumped up so fast….I would love to say I jumped up thinking “Oh My God the kids!!” and went to do battle but it was more like I jumped up like “HOLY SHIT A RAT!.”…the only thing that makes me feel better about the whole thing is that my wife freaked out just as much as i did!!!

We both went from sitting here all blah to sitting here holding our hearts and breathing heavy from the shock/fear!

It was good for a chuckle anyway….

I’m pretty sure that I’ve shared before that Tantrum Tot has been diagnosed (so far) with Severe Repetitive Expressive Speech Delay. He’s two and his vocabulary is almost non-existent. They aged his language skills at approximately 11 months.

However, since he has started attending day-care part time, I have to say we have seen what a marked improvement in his speech and his behavior.

The other day I forget what we were doing, and he said clearly said “I’m stuck Daddy!”  And of course he’s been saying other things like “I poop !” , “More” ,  “Ba Ba”,  “Coo-key”, and “I eat!” when he’s hungry.

This may not seem like a lot to you but to me and my wife that particular “I stuck Daddy” it was like the sun coming out from behind a cloud.  He knew what he wanted to communicate and he did it clearly!

Also, on the days he goes to day care (3 days a week) he comes home happy and playful and between the hours of 7:00 pm and 9:00 pm, he will ask for his “ba”, grab his pillow pet (the big soft fluffy purple one), and his blanket, lays down on the sofa  rolls over and goes to sleep on his own.

I know this may seem trivial to some of you, but for us, who used to have to drive him around at all hours of the night till he passed out, this is progress. Also, it’s so encouraging that he is learning, and growing and developing…I just had to share how very proud of him I am.

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