Archive for November, 2013


Happy Gobble Gobble Day!

ImageI just wanted to take a moment to wish everyone a very Happy Thanksgiving! In the midst of all our toil and turmoil, chaos and confusion, it’s good to take one moment to look at our lives and be grateful for all the good that is present in our lives. Even if sometimes it seems it’s buried under everything else, it IS still there!

Just this morning trying to get the bird in the oven was a trial in and of itself interrupted countless times by Tantrum Tot throwing his Lil People school bus full of Lil People Justice League members (what we lovingly refer to as Fatty Batty Members) at Monkey Boy for unimagined slights and who know what other reasons? As well as Aspie Baby waking up and screaming each time the Tot started yelling and poor wifey went to bed ar 5 a.m. and has to get up at 8:00 a.m.!

But still we have 4 healthy boys, a roof over our heads, two vehicles, I have a good stable job, and wifey has a very promising career. While we don’t have very many live friends, we both have all the people who support us through our blogs etc. for which I am eternally thankful for.

So take a moment and post a reply here if you would about what you’re most thankful for today!

I’ve been doing some light research on autism etc. for various reasons and I came across something that disturbs me. There are so many people being told their children and themselves as well will never be able to exist on their own, to live their own lives, to love someone or be loved by someone. That they and their children, their loved ones are doomed to a life of perpetual supervision and loneliness.

It makes me ask one question among the hundreds that flit through my ADD brain…ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME???

PLEASE stop pushing this garbage on people, and children especially!!!

My wife grew up without ever being diagnosed. She is high functioning, and struggles in so many areas. And she struggled without ever knowing she was autistic. Along the way, she had too many bad experiences to count but she developed into an intelligent, driven young lady, who despite all the challenges she faced persevered and is still fighting today!

She was living on her own at age 14 and raising her 3 brothers in lieu of parents who were there but didn’t make any of their kids a priority. She worked several jobs at once, maintaining a place to live that her brothers could come stay at whenever they wanted. She went to school, she went to church, she dated, got hurt, dated again, got fired from jobs, quit others, but always came back.

If anyone reading this has ever been told they have no hope of ever being loved or loving someone let me tell you right now that is LIE!!!

I didn’t know my wife had autism till we had been married for around 10 years. There was plenty about her that I could not explain, but you know what? Because I loved her I let them go and kept at it. Our marriage was ROUGH the first 10 years. Mostly due to my immaturity and stupidity, but dealing with the issues which arose because of her autism (though we didn’t know it was autism) was not easy on either of us.

But I have to say this, without my wife’s devotion to family, her drive to make our marriage work, and her ability to forgive, I would not be the man I am today. I most likely would not even be around to type these words, I would have given up on myself and ended my pain, but SHE gave me reason to hope, reason to change. She inspired me, she showed me how to truly love someone and how beautiful love could be. My children, and myself are so lucky to have her, autism and all. Her autism doesn’t make her less…it makes her more…more than I am …more than anyone else I know.

So keep the faith. There is hope for you. You are not doomed. You can and will lead a full satisfying life. There may be some limitations you might have to adjust to, but just don’t give up.

My wife put her heart and soul into our marriage. She put her heart and soul into her book. And though she’s stuck with  a husband like me, tonight at least she was honored for her hard work and dedication on one front. Tonight was the Awards ceremony for the Reader’s Favorite Book Awards, which she took second place in her category.

I am so proud of her. She deserves recognition for so much more than this but at least she is being recognized for her work on this book.

Congratulations Jeannie. I love you and I am so very proud of you.

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Awards

Well This Just Sucks!

While wifey is away with Aspie Teen, I thought I’d surprise her by rearranging our bedroom like we’ve been discussing for the past few weeks.

So I just spent the last 30 minutes lugging furniture only to find out the dimensions won’t work and it looks crowded and now I have to move everything back!!! Not for nothing we have some heavy @$$ furniture!!! AND I was moving the bed around with Tantrum Tot and Aspie Baby asleep on it and now the baby is up crying…

Somebody pass the wine!!!

I gave Tantrum Tot a stuffed Snoopy doll this week to snuggle in place of his mommy who’s gone on a trip. Well Monkey Boy has a stuffed animal too though he hasn’t really used it in a while, but it was down in my room on the dresser.

Well as I’m sitting FINALLY trying to have my coffee…the yelling from my room starts…Tantrum Tot wants Monkey Boys stuffy. Monkey Boy will NOT relinquish it. He cannot understand or learn (and believe me I’ve tried to teach him numerous times), just give the item to Tot who will lose interest in it in 5 minutes, and walk away from it, then he can go get it again. No instead, Monkey Boy’s screaming cause Tot now has him by the hair in one hand, and nails dug into his chin with the other!!!

It’s not even 8 a.m. yet. Is it too early to put Baileys in my coffee? It’s got to be happy hour SOMEWHERE on this planet right?

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Tantrum Tot woke up at 5 A.M. wanting to watch Thomas the Train. ..and won’t let me leave long enough to make some coffee!!

Coffee!! Coffee!!! My kingdom for some coffee!!!

Today I picked up Monkey Boy from school early. When we were walking out, I told him that since Aspie Teen got to go to Miami with mommy, WE were going to go see Thor 2. He jumped up and shouted WOO HOO!!! MAN WEEKEND!!! LMAO!!! I almost dropped the baby seat I was carrying!

We went to the theater, and I at the snack bar, I told him to hold the bucket of popcorn so I could carry the car seat (yes Aspie Baby went to his first movie today), and he said Thank you Daddy for trusting me enough to give me the honor of carrying the sacred popcorn. This kid is killing me!!!!

During the movie, Aspie Baby started crying and I had to stand in the aisle rocking him back and forth and Monkey Boy came and sat at my feet to be close to me…

ImageAfter the movie I asked Monkey Boy what he felt like eating for dinner and he said Chinese food because and I quote “Aspie Teen isn’t here to complicate matters!!!”  His brother has huge issues with making choices and/or decisions and every single time we try to order out, it takes 30 minutes of arguing with the Teen to get the order right.

So we went and  got the Chinese food, picked up Tantrum Tot, and now that the Tot is passed out, we are going to rent The Man of Steel on Amazon instant video. FINALLY one of my kids is getting into superheroes like me!!!! LOVING IT!!!

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While Mom’s Away

Dad will be exhausted…but finally got the boys to sleep…The proof is below…still haven’t gotten to the house yet though =(

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Today my wife and I were speaking while she was doing her Tasmanian Devil impersonation and getting ready for her trip.

And she said the damndest thing that made me stop and blink.

We were talking about how the doctors had missed Monkey Boy’s autism during his last evaluation. We still don’t believe he’s not on the spectrum with high functioning autism. He displays WAY too many traits not to be. His thinking, the way he deduces things, his inappropriate affect and intensity about certain things, the vehemence of his reactions on other things…we just can’t believe he’s not even if they don’t.

Well we were saying that I wish that the people who are writing about how to diagnose high functioning autism would actually conduct more research by SPEAKING TO PEOPLE WITH HIGH FUNCTIONING AUTISM. You see the doctors said one of the reasons why they ruled it out with Monkey Boy was that he felt things too intensely….(I’ll pause for the collective picking up of the jaws from the floors).

Do they not realize that part of high functioning autism isn’t that they don’t feel but rather don’t know how to process or express those feelings like everyone else? That maybe they feel things even more intensely than NT’s???? Are they really telling me that they think that high functioning autistic’s (or even lower functioning autistic’s) don’t FEEL???? I can’t believe it. They said that he did another thing that automatically made them rule it out as well but wouldn’t tell us what that other thing was.

SO frustrated with the ridiculousness of it all right now.

 

Today my wife and Aspie Teen are flying out on their way to Miami and the Readers Choice Book Awards.

I of course will be left alone at home with Tantrum Tot and Monkey Boy and Chunky Baby Boy and a house in a demolished state which I am making a personal goal to get cleaned up before they get back.

The week leading up to this has been a flurry of activity which despite herself, had helped keep her panic at bay.

This is the first time she’s flown since Aspie Teen was like two or three years old. And she doesn’t have me to use as a support beam/whipping post. LOL AND she had tho fly with the million and one question asking Teen who I shit you not could give an aspirin a headache and annoy Mother Theresa herself.

On the plus side she had to buy a dress and shoes and stuff to get glammed up for the awards ceremony. As any NT married to an Aspie spouse will tell you that is worth its weight in gold!!!

She did a really good job too and I can’t wait to get pics of her wearing it to post online so all the world can see what a hottie she is underneath the pj’s, sweat pants and flip flops!!!

So we’re sitting here in the airport waiting till they go through the gate. My wife has make up on and her hair freshly dyed and blown/curled etc. looking all pretty and panicked.

So do me a favor and go to her blog or her FB page and congratulate her and wish her well and tell her I sent you!!!

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Finally A Good Day!

My wife and Aspie Teen are out shopping for upcoming trip to Miami for the awards ceremony. (See here for details on that). Aspie Aspie Teen is actually going to wear a shirt and tie and jacket…I can’t wait to post pics of THAT!!!! Aspie Teen is shall we say less than enthusiastic about his personal appearance so when he gets dressed up it’s something to shout about!

Aspie Baby is asleep on my bed, and Tantrum Tot and I spent hours in there with him as well, playing iPad, and watching The Avengers, (again…OK sue me…my icon is Nightwing, and my screen name is SuperHeroDad72…R U sensing a recurring theme here?) Well I watched Avengers and he played iPad….and Tantrum Tot and Monkey Boy are actually PLAYING together!!!! (AND as soon as I typed that the screaming began!)…

Still all in all a good day and MUCH better than what we’ve previously been through. This Thursday and Friday I get to stay home with Monkey Boy, Aspie Baby and Tantrum Tot all by myself. Yeah I’m stocking up on Baileys and Kahlua b4 then count on it!!! Can we spell W-H-IT-E R-U-S-S-I-A-N-S baby? LOL I plan to use Thursday to DESTROY the Aspie Cave’s current condition and actually find the floor…and possibly move on to the rest of the house afterwards if I don’t get eaten by a Kraken while I’m in there…

And Friday I am going to pick up Monkey Boy from that RIDICULOUS school he’s in, and take him to go see Thor, The Dark World while Tot is in day care!My master plan is unfolding according to my design (rubs hands together and laughs maniacally!!)

OK have to go make dinner for the Monkey, Tot and I…Aspie Dad out!

 

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