But after the day I just had, I don’t know if I’ll ever go back. At least not with Tantrum Tot in tow.

My wife’s iPad 1st generation had it’s screen smashed by one of the tray tables we have. We found a REALLY good deal for a replacement (on Amazon of course), paid the extra $$ and lo and behold it got here this morning. (We’ve thought about upgrading to a new model but a). they are too expensive and b). each model gets thinner and thinner. We need a model that’s DURABLE and the 1st gen iPad is that!

So off the mall we went to get a good case for it since the Tot has appropriated said iPad as his own, it’s subject to being thrown across the room at random by said Tot. Also Monkey Boy needed new sneakers since I discovered that his favorite Spider Man ones had half the sneaker coming apart at the seam! AND Aspie Teen needs dress shoes and pants and a haircut so he can go to the awards ceremony with his mother in Miami, not to mention his mother needs a dress to wear to the award ceremony as well. 

Well by the time we get in the van, my wife is already frazzled. (She hates the mall). Monkey Boy was going on and on about how he didn’t want to go but he wanted to go to Monster In Law’s house (his grandmother aka grand-monster) instead. He NEVER wants to go there. I don’t blame him. But today of all day he won’t shut up about it. We decide the shoe store is the first stop. Monkey Boy was in and out real quick. But Tot wouldn’t stay in the store and kept running out. So I ended up taking him back to the van. Then having to walk him across the parking lot to the mall so he could get on his Choo Choo, (they have one of those life size trains you can pay $4 and sit in and ride across the mall). (Of course he wouldn’t actually walk and I ended up carrying the Tot across 3 parking lots on my back and my shoulders all the way to the mall), while wifey took Monkey Boy with her and she went to Bed Bath & Beyond. 

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I get Tot the mall, and on the train while wifey took Monkey Boy to his grand-monster’s house. Well by the time she came back (this time with Aspie Teen in tow), we were in Barnes & Nobles so he could play with their Thomas the Train table. (I actually leaned on a shelf too hard and pulled it down on me, how embarassing). Then of course I get the text that wifey is back in the mall and to meet her at the food court. So I pull a screaming Tot out of the store, into the mall and across the mall to the food court. Of course I didn’t know they had the huge Christmas Tree and Santa and his elves out…(REALLY PEOPLE???? We haven’t even eaten Thanksgiving dinner and SANTA’S OUT???)  

Needless to say between trying to eat, his running across the mall repeatedly, the damn elves being out…and his wanting to climb on stage with the elves, I was wrung out. Wifey didn’t get a chance to look at iPad cases, or dresses…we didn’t get Aspie Teen a haircut, or shoes…because wifey was already overloaded and could barely function anymore being in the mall with all the people. I was a sweaty wreck…and Aspie Teen was oblivious since all his attention was zoomed in on trying to locate a PS4 which of course EVERYONE and their freaking grandmother is sold out of.  NOW here comes the BEST PART so don’t tune out yet.

We get a SCREAMING Tot back in the minivan and guess what…the freaking Houdini prodigy can now fully get out of his car seat!!!!!  And of course my wife’s doctor told her how one of his friends had all the grand-kids over for a visit and he put them in the back of his car for a ride around the private subdivision he lived in and got pulled over by a cop and ARRESTED for Child Endangerment…so we can’t run the risk of being pulled over…so now a FRAZZLED Aspie Wife is driving…I am in the back seat holding the straps closed on a SCREAMING Tot and of course his new little brother jumped in and started screaming too, so now I’m unbuckled holding a bottle in the baby’s mouth with one hand and holding the straps on the car seat closed with the other while Tantrum Tot does his best to pummel me to death!!! 

We get home, I put Diego on the TV in our room for the Tot, lay the baby down in bed with a bottle, while wifey is in their with Tot to calm him down. I come out to the computer to write this disaster of a day down in my blog and I hear wifey screaming from the bathroom!!! I run over and guess what?? She forgot her new Samsung Galaxy II phone was in her back pocket when she went to sit down and dropped the damn thing in the toilet!!!! So I had to pull it out, tear it apart, dry off everything I could and have the phone in a Ziplock baggie of rice trying to dry that damn thing out!!!

HOOAH…call in the Marines!!! Call out The National Guard !!!! Call out SUPER NANNY!!!!

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