Yesterday we went to view a home in the area that we are putting a contract on. It’s a 4 BR / 1.5 bath two story home with a basement that though not finished is completely dry and able to be used immediately, and an attic space that could be finished for another family / get the kids the hell out of the grown up space area. My wife and I had seen the house already but wanted to show the kids…WHEN ARE WE GOING TO LEARN NOT TO DO THAT!!!???

With my kids…if you want to maintain any semblance of sanity…DO NOT give them options or opinions of any sort. Sounds cruel I know…but honestly…they are not going to do good with change anyway so spare ourselves the pain and agony and just TELL them what’s going to happen.

We went and I was supposed to be taking pictures because the online listing has been taken down. Well we get there and Monkey Boy immediately starts not listening, wandering off, playing with things…before anyone was even out of the van Monkey Boy got out and just walked into the house through the side/basement door without knocking or anything…which resulted in the Tot HAVING to enter in that way too…but by that point we had already carried him to the front door…well the Tot attacked me until I took him back out and through that door too…then when we got to the basement Monkey Boy immediately sat down behind the drum set that was down there and started messing with it….and of course Monkey see Monkey do…the Tot now HAD to play with them and didn’t want to put the sticks down because they were HIS drums…and he’s flipping out again…and words have failed him…



Aspie Teen was in his usual melancholy funk mode…he walked around the house, went upstairs looked at the rooms, then walked out to the van leaving me with Chunky Monkey and the Tot while wifey walked around with Monkey Boy when he knows he’s supposed to help with the kids. Well she went upstairs with Monkey Boy and the Tot LOST IT because HE wants to go upstairs with mommy and mommy can’t carry him cause he’s too heavy and I couldn’t carry him cause I can’t carry him and Chunky both up the stairs!!! Well he was in full on meltdown mode now cause he couldn’t get upstairs to the point where I had to call wifey down to stay with him and then carry him upstairs and open every door there was up there in every room …then bring him downstairs and try to talk business with the real estate agent.

Finally we get through the house…sign the contract and head to Pizza Hut to get dinner cause there was no way we were cooking now…we get there and the Tot passed out in the van (of course)…we were all getting separate items and went in to order and Aspie Teen says he wants a stuffed crust pizza…a whole pizza and that’s the only thing he wants..well damned if I’m buying him a whole pizza!!! But now wifey and I had to change our orders and just get the pizza so he can have it…which quite honestly is the Teen’s trademark when it comes to meals…whether we eat out or eat in…he HAS to have something different and complicate matters to the point where his mom and I end up throwing our hands up and skipping whatever it is we want cause by that point we don’t want to be bothered anymore…

We finally get home and when we get to bed later that night after we finally get Chunky down…the Tot HAS to sleep with us..and then Monkey Boy can’t sleep and HE comes and lays down with us…keep in mind this is a queen sized bed not our usual king…and wifey HAS to take up more than half the bed because her pillows must be arranged a certain way and her Kindle paper white has to be so far away from her….now the two monsters are in my bed and I’m balanced on the end like a trapeze artist lest I fall over the sides!

Yeah my life resembles a sitcom…

Shoot me now please?

Shoot me now please?