When my wife was first diagnosed with Asperger’s Syndrome (AS), a few things became clearer to us. Like why she has difficulty with accomplishing tasks such as cleaning or paying bills on time. And her hyper sensitivity was finally explained which shed new light on the noise levels she couldn’t tolerate and the cleaning supplies she couldn’t inhale etc.
And it finally explained my wifes inability to make friends and/or socialize, leaving her lonely and desperately waiting for me to come home each day to interact with.
I had reached out to the local autism advocacy agencies here in our current state, and found out they only offered woefully inadequate services and nothing practical at all.
Counseling and literature is the extent of the services they offer. Woo freaking hoo. I mean those have their place, they do, but let’s explore this a bit shall we?
If Aspies have trouble socializing, then making them go to counseling with a complete stranger is a bit daft don’t you think?
What reason would they have to go sit and talk to a complete stranger about something so personal? Not to mention, in this case, the stranger was located over an hours drive away, and had no evening hours available, (and what the heck is up with this state and NO ONE wanting to work in the evening or on weekends anyway ??), so a spouse (mainly me), would have to take a day off work to accompany them.
Aspies don’t like interruption to their daily schedules, which can cause panic and anxiety…didn’t the doctors who helped develop this advocacy program take that into consideration?
They offered very little on the whole financial aspect. They offered financial counseling. My wife can PLAN with the best of them. She can design a budget like no ones business. The problem comes when she has to actually execute or stick to the budget.
Again you can talk this issue to death but what about some practical assistance such as people who can actually work with you and pay your bills for you? (using your money of course). They seem to have people to do this for the elderly, but can’t make the jump to offer it to people with ASD. (Autism Spectrum Disorder).
Financial stability can go a long way in helping people on the spectrum keep their peace of mind.
Not having to worry about whether the utilities are going to stay on or not because you forgot to pay them, or double paid one bill (again), and ended up being short for another bill (which happened with surprising regularity in my house), would be of tremendous benefit, and could significantly reduce the amount of stress in an ASD household.
Finances are one of the largest sources of stress in any household, but when a partner/spouse has ASD, it significantly increases the chance for meltdowns, which in my house are to be avoided at all costs.
In this state, there is huge business in cleaning services. Yet they offer no help, be it financial or just retaining a company which the state would pay for, that could come once or twice a week to help clean houses for people with ASD. This would/could be a tremendous help to keep order in a home. And if things are kept in order there is less of a feeling of chaos which helps keep people calm. I know in my house, this would be of tremendous benefit to both me and my wife. I’m willing to bet we’re not alone here on this right?
My wife was not diagnosed with Aspergers Syndrome until after the birth of our third child. I am forty years young and she is close behind me. Our oldest is a new teenager chronologically, but that’s about all. He helps his mother with the baby during the day, but housework is not something either of them can really devote their full attention to during the day.
When I come home after work, and on the weekends, most of my time is spent cleaning. In between trying to make sure I take my wife out somewhere so she doesn’t have to spend all week staring at these four walls again.
Having a cleaning service come in to do some deep cleaning and/or some maintenance cleaning during the week would be of TREMENDOUS assistance in or house. Please tell me I’m not alone in this?
And finally, a program that would pay partially or at least pay for part-time day care for toddlers and infants would be pure gold.
A chance for my wife to write, or straighten up, or rest or be able to go to Barnes and Nobles, to have a grande mocha frappuccino and breath in peace would increase her quality of life one hundred fold!
Any other ideas out there? I’m sure there are so please feel free to share them on this post. I’m actually considering sending something to the governor on this topic. So any thing you can offer would be appreciated.