Tag Archive: living with autism


You know I’ve mentioned briefly, that this house of mine was a God send 2 years ago when we got in it. We were in a desperate “we’re going to be homeless in a few weeks if we can’t find a house SOON” type situation. My wife went online and found this house…and we were able to get it with Owner-Financing which was great because my credit was REALLY low at the time…the house ad read that it was “recently renovated”…HA! What a FREAKING LIE!!!

The kitchen cabinets are the original kitchen cabinets from the 1970’s when this house was built. They are the ugliest, flimsiest things I’ve ever seen…and in such disrepair that I recently had to pull one off the wall because it was quite literally falling apart…the carpets which were supposed to be “new” were simply shampooed, re-stretched and re-cut. And they left gaps in the corners of each room. In the dining room, they actually left the carpet un-tucked instead of finishing it by the sliding doors to the back deck. And the back deck is pitched on an angle and the cement is all cracked up. The house was recently re-sided right before we got it…and when they did it, they covered up all the outdoor electrical outlets. And the back door threshold is broken and when it rains, our laundry room gets flooded which runs into our kitchen! And oh yeah they advertised that the roof was recently redone as well.  Well I recently switched insurance carriers and when I had the roof re-inspected, the roofer said that roof is about 10 years old minimum.

Today, after an early morning rush to get to the final game of Monkey Boy’s baseball season, we had to come home to get ready for my mother’s 72nd birthday party…nothing big…(since we don’t socialize with anyone, just my sister, her girlfriend, her daughter, the monster in law and my kids)…AFTER I ran Monkey Boy to Game Stop to get a game, and my wife ran Aspie Teen over a friends house to buy Yu-Gi-Oh cards for his collection…we were home finally and my sister etc. had left, it started raining…REALLY raining…so of course the rain came in under through the broken threshold in the laundry room…here’s the hitch…we installed laminate flooring in the kitchen!!!

So we literally piled all the towels we could find on the floor in the laundry room to stop the water from leaking under the laminate…this is going to smell LOVELY tomorrow…and since my wife has SPD (Sensory Processing Disorder) and can smell EVERYTHING….well you get the picture….

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I swear…I HATE this house…if I knew that it needed all this work when I bought it, I could say well we knew what we were getting into…but the person who sold it to us told us it was in good condition cause he just put a bunch of work into it…I shudder to think what his idea of a lot of work is…because on top of the issues mentioned before, the stairs are falling apart in the house, the a/c doesn’t blow  upstairs and I just had a new unit and compressor put in when I moved in…almost none of the light switches in the house actually WORK and we have to walk over to the light/ceiling fan and pull the cord in almost every room…and light bulbs constantly blow out quickly which tells me there’s a short somewhere…and the garbage disposal under the sink CRACKED and leaks anytime you run water on that side of the sink so we can’t use one side of the sink OR use our dishwasher until I get that fixed. I have four kids, three of which are autistic…there is no “free time” to do things ourselves (we’ve been laying laminate for 4 months already!) or “extra money” to hire someone to do it for us…(the last handyman I hired did such shoddy work I can’t even go into it now)…I’m scared to death something is going to happen to one of the kids because something broke…poor Aspie Teen and Monkey Boy have to go upstairs with no a/c in the summer (which is now), and bake up there during the day…I’m scared that when they come down the stairs, they’ll finally finish breaking and they’ll fall right through them…

I am so NOT a handyman either…

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My wife and I have done some major things in this house…like laying down laminate flooring…remodeling the master bath and the upstairs bath…repainting the ugly ass cabinets and putting tiles down and grouting them on the counters…but I swear I need Jonathan & Drew Scott from the Property Brothers

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or Nicole Curtis from The Rehab Addict

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or Anthony Carrino and John Colaneri from Cousins Undercover

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or Tarek and Christina El Moussa from Flip or Flop

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to come do this house for me…for free would be great since I have NO savings for a rainy day to fall back on…if you’ve never seen these shows, you should Tivo them on HGTV…they are fantastic! I stand in awe of these creative geniuses who manage to do what they do. They are a lost and dying breed…those who create…instead of destroy…restore instead of abandon and see value in what others see as lost causes. The world needs more people like this…people with vision…and the willingness to make a change…and do some good…instead of just saying well that’s not my problem…but I digress…

I’m putting in for promotions in different states and if I get one of them my job’s relocation company will buy the house from me, but if I can’t get it fixed up I’m going to be stuck with it, or else take a beating on what they’ll buy it from me for! (which would just be my luck wouldn’t it?)

Anyway…that’s my rant for the night…thanks for listening…

 

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I gave Tantrum Tot a stuffed Snoopy doll this week to snuggle in place of his mommy who’s gone on a trip. Well Monkey Boy has a stuffed animal too though he hasn’t really used it in a while, but it was down in my room on the dresser.

Well as I’m sitting FINALLY trying to have my coffee…the yelling from my room starts…Tantrum Tot wants Monkey Boys stuffy. Monkey Boy will NOT relinquish it. He cannot understand or learn (and believe me I’ve tried to teach him numerous times), just give the item to Tot who will lose interest in it in 5 minutes, and walk away from it, then he can go get it again. No instead, Monkey Boy’s screaming cause Tot now has him by the hair in one hand, and nails dug into his chin with the other!!!

It’s not even 8 a.m. yet. Is it too early to put Baileys in my coffee? It’s got to be happy hour SOMEWHERE on this planet right?

Aspie Teen has received his official diagnosis of Autism Spectrum Disorder!!!!

Now we can pursue an IEP with his online school and get some much needed accommodations. He’s not doing that good according to his mother, and he failed two subjects this quarter.

Unfortunately, Monkey Boy’s diagnosis did not go so well. He’s just too damn social to receive a diagnosis.

Everyone keeps looking at how verbal he is and how interactive and they automatically rule it out…I’m starting to doubt myself. Maybe he’s an NT incognito and just displaying Aspie traits….a lot of them…I just don’t know anymore.

You remember that Tantrum Tot was screened and it was decided he was eligible for support services through a local program?

Well they sent us for a STAT screening and of course he failed that one again. But at least they acknowledged that the STAT screening as it stands does not allow for high functioning autism and they are going to have him undergo a full autism screening again.

And he still qualifies for services with their program due to his severe speech delay.

So their is still hope on the horizon.

We are currently back in the doctors office for part two of Aspie Teens diagnosis. They were unable to complete the process last time. So here we are again.

I have Aspie Monkey Boy, Aspie Wife and of course Aspie Baby with me. Monkey Boy came home today near tears due to the fact that I apparently forgot to sign a quiz he had gotten an F on in school which was in his take home folder, which resulted in his losing recess today.

Now it makes no sense to me, that a child would be penalized for something a parent did or didn’t do.  Perfect example is punishing the student because their parents got them to school late. Last time I checked a 9 year old couldn’t drive himself to school!

My wife is livid and can’t let it go and Monkey Boy is beside himself.Parent teacher conferences are next week and wifey is already planning her attack.  Additionally, he left his homework folder in school again so I had to run him back to school to get it again, but when he got home he was near tears and throwing stuff from his book bag around.

Now we are sitting in the waiting room and Monkey Boy has his books on one little table and his bag is dropped in the middle of the floor. Now he has spread across the waiting room to where we are sitting. I told him to get back on his side and leave the empty spaces clear..to which he violently objected and of course his mother couldn’t see what was wrong with it.

These are the little things that drive me crazy being the only NT in the house. No-one understands why I object to certain things which makes me have to explain myself/reasoning which no-one  understands let alone agrees with so my frustration level rises exponentially.

AND the doctor just brought Monkey Boy back to the waiting room because apparently they found him on the stairs going to the attic! He went to another waiting room to watch TV and apparently got bored!!!

Dear God I need a drink.

It’s been a long time…I shouldn’t have left you…without a dope blog to step to…

SORRY!!!!  I wanted to open the blog with the statement “It’s been a long time since I’ve written anything here”…and the song “Make Them Clap to This” by Erik B and Rakim flashed across my head!! (Dangers of my AADD brain).

Anyway as you know my wonderful Aspie Wife delivered a wonderful baby boy (our 4th) amidst the usual drama which revolves around our lives. Mom is doing well and recovering from her Synthesis Pelvic Dysfunction with the help of this fantastic Chiropractor where we live (originally from Long Island NY), and plenty of bed rest, even though she keeps trying to over do it.

The labor went well with the use of an Epidural (the first time she’s used it), but the recovery time afterwards has been kind of insane. Despite all our repeated speaking to the doctors and nurses in the hospital regarding her paradoxical reactions to medication, they gave her Percocet, both before and after her delivery. Before she had the baby, we were regulating her intake at home and she was taking half a pill every 3-4 hours instead of the prescribed 1-2 tablets every 2-4 hours as needed. At first she was doing great on it. Then after the epidural, they increased her dosage at the hospital to a whole tablet every 3-4 hours. The day she came home, she continued that dosage, but almost immediately after started having EXTREME panic attacks. I’m talking about staying up till 3 am walking around the van in the parking spot in front of our house drinking a gallon of water, vomiting style panic attacks.

Well of course her being the Aspie minded individual she is, started researching the next day and lo and behold, found out that Percocet can cause panic attacks in those who are already prone to having them! Well my wife had severe panic and anxiety disorders earlier in her life, which we’ve told the doctors…AND I mentioned her reactions to the doctors and nurses at the hospital every chance I got. I’ve come to the conclusion that they just don’t know what these medications can do to people. That the sales reps from the drug companies don’t tell them, and they being the busy professionals they are, never get a chance to research it so they just don’t know before prescribing these meds. It’s the only scenario that makes any sense.

Anyway, we’ve more or less gotten through that stage as the meds left her system. The new baby is doing well, and I’ve had enough time on the books to take off till the end of next week to help her recover. It amazed me that the size of a newborn pamper is about the size of my smart phone!

Phone vs Pamper

I’ve been able to do SO much clean up in the house to get ready, although I still haven’t built up the strength to go into the Cave of Aspie-ness which is the boys room. it took me 3 days to clean out the baby’s room! (remember the a/c hasn’t been working up there all summer so it’s been throw it upstairs and I’ll deal with it later all summer).  The a/c STILL is not working but now at least once I go through the Aspie Cave with a blow torch and a light saber, I can get to the point where I can call someone to take a look at the a/c unit without being MORTIFIED about the state of the house.  I’ve been doing laundry for about a week and am finally at the end of the tunnel in that battle. I fixed the shower in the upstairs bathroom so the boys don’t have to use ours downstairs anymore (go me!) and I went  through the dark vortex which is our laundry room and you can actually walk in there again! I went through the linen closet and still have a large bin of crap to go through and decide what’s staying and what’s going to the laundry room …and I still have to go through my closet and drawers and throw about 80% of my crap away. Also MAJOR victory the Thomas the Train bed is GONE from my living room! I was finally able to get it upstairs and Tot’s asleep in it now! Let’s hope he lasts the whole night up there!

Luckily the boys all love their new brother, especially Tantrum Tot. However, we’ve hit a snag. (You just KNEW that was coming didn’t  you guys?) Tantrum Tot has become increasingly more and more difficult. His meltdowns are coming more frequently and he starts screaming and fighting me and his mother and brothers for the slightest provocations. He gets mad and starts throwing things around (with uncanny accuracy and strength for a 2 year old), and he’s been physically attacking us while screaming at the top of his lungs. The other day after picking him up from day care, we went through the drive through pharmacy (those are COOL, they don’t have those in NYC), and next thing I knew I was hit in the side of the head with his toy phone! He knocked my blue tooth device smack off my head! My wife of course busted out laughing even while in shock…thank GOD I wasn’t actually driving at the time!

This is what hit me on the side of the head!

This is what hit me on the side of the head!

The frequency and the intensity of these episodes is VERY concerning for us ESPECIALLY with an infant in the house. It’s been emotionally draining for both me and his mother. The boys don’t/can’t understand what is going on. A trusted Psychologist we know told us to physically restrain him during the more violent outbursts while verbally trying to soothe him. I had to do that the other night and it left him in tears being comforted by his mother and me near tears because I HATED to have to do that to him, but he was really getting out of control and his new brother was in the room and we had to act immediately to ensure Aspie Baby wasn’t hurt.

Today we had to take the Tot with us to Walmart to go grocery shopping since we don’t have a sitter anymore. We HAD to go to Walmart even though we both can’t stand that place…because it’s the only place where they have electric scooter/chairs my wife can use due to her pelvic issues. While he was well behaved for him, he still had a few tantrums (not meltdowns) and caused some more of the hair on my head to go gray. When we got home, even more meltdowns and another violent episode. I gotta tell you I’m getting very very concerned about this. They seem to be increasing and my emotional ability to process them is decreasing. If any of you could steer me towards any good articles on dealing with this I’d really appreciate it!

Anyway I’m going to go try and lay down in between feedings. I can’t wait till this one’s schedule is right!

My wife, who is an Aspie cannot take meds that are supposed to put her to sleep. Instead of going too sleep and staying asleep she regains consciousness and jumps up in a panicked state.

Meds that would put me out for hours (and have) , merely induce a mild state of relaxation in her followed swiftly by the onset of panic.

During dental procedures the novacaine fades almost immediately after her being injected.  Which causes no end of trouble.

I am wondering if any of you have similar experiences when taking such meds?

Our theory is that people with ASD metabolize these chemicals differently.

Please share your experiences with us?

You know you are in an Aspie relationship when your significant other can say this to you and you just roll off the pillow and go to sleep.

My wife has a very appropriate nickname in my house. The Princess of Pillows…(among other ones that won’t be listed here) LOL. This particular name stems from the fact that every night, she is surrounded by a mountain of pillows. One behind her back, one in front of her stomach, and two in between her legs. Not to mention the one her head sits on.

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So needless to say this mountain of pillows leaves not very much room left for me! And then the kids come in. Aspie Teen is almost as tall and wide as I am. He is flat out not allowed in the bed any longer! Aspie Monkey Boy is around 4 foot 5. He loves to burrow under the blankets and pop his head up the other side and try to stake a claim to a spot in the middle.

Tantrum Tot will go to bed and halfway through the night come in my room and smack me in the head with either his hand or his sippy cup and make me put him in between us. Only there’s one catch. Once he’s settled, I can’t stay! He’ll either kick me in the kidneys till I get up or he’ll point imperiously and say GO! And since I don’t want him to stay awake, I’ll go to the foot of the bed or to the sofa. Just until he falls back asleep, (or so I tell myself). The problem with that is I usually end up passing back out and not waking up till it’s time for me to get ready for work.

But through it all my wife remains buried in her fortress of pillow-tude. I realize she needs this fortress. She has to have it. She cannot sleep without it. But when you’re in a king sized bed and there’s no room for Daddy, it can sometimes become a bit ridiculous.

I’ve even threatened to trade up the king sized bed to a queen sized bed. LOL Not that I’d ever do it. Most guys would love this facet of her Aspie-ness. She does not have an overwhelming need to cuddle. In fact she’s very guy-ish about not needing to cuddle at all. Even after intimacy….it’s lke wow, ok now get off my pillows! LMAO

Life with an Aspie partner is never dull. Never quite normal either, but never dull.

I know I haven’t posted anything in a while. It’s been busy busy busy…and I’ve been tired tired TIRED!

I took Thursday and Friday off this week, to help my wife with running around. As you all probably know, it’s back to school time! (Cue the song “It’s the Most Wonderful Time Of The Year”)

Well a few days ago, Aspie Teen announced he wanted to go back to regular school. (My wife has been home schooling him again, for the past year). Well we were shocked and surprised, however, we wanted to support him so we agreed to let him try and made plans to go register him for the local high school. 

We have seen tremendous growth in Aspie Teen and believe he had the mental/emotional fortitude and a strong enough sense of self to handle the kids in school. He also has grown to the point that he probably could handle himself in a physical altercation if it came down to it….(but I know he wouldn’t ever lift a finger against anyone even to defend himself)…grrrr…..

Well Thursday, before we went to register him, his mother and I went to our first appointment in the process to getting an official diagnosis for Aspie Teen!!! We found a place IN OUR TOWN…no more 3 hour drives for us! (Which REALLY kind of annoyed us because the referral to this place, came from the same doctor’s office who referred the 2 year old to the place in Charleston, and this place starts diagnosing as early as 18 months!!! But I digress)…

Anyway my wife and I were really impressed by how they listened to us, and some of the things we were telling them, they seemed to respond with yeah we’ve seen that before, or that sounds about right…the next step is a 2 hour appointment with Aspie Teen by himself…and get this…it’s scheduled for the 27th of this month! That will be TWO appointments in the same month!

You have to understand that EVERY place we’ve been to here where we live, it takes MONTHS to get one appointment. So having 2 in one month, is unheard of! (don’t get me started, I can’t understand how I can get seen more often in a large city like NYC and have months and months separating each appointment  down here!)

ANYWAY after the appointment we went to register Monkey Boy for the 4h grade. That went relatively smoothly. Then we go to the high school with Monkey Boy and Aspie Teen in tow. OMG we went to the table where they were giving out info on the bus schedules…and Aspie Teen was literally SHAKING contemplating getting on the bus! To the point that the people who were at the table were trying to make some jokes to calm him down, about we got to get him on a good bus, look how scared he is!

We assured Aspie Teen that we were just getting information and that it wasn’t guaranteed he would be riding the bus yet…that calmed him down enough to the point we could get him to go the next spot. The next spot was to fill out all the paperwork in the universe and wait to be seen by a guidance counselor.

While we were filling out the paperwork though, Aspie Teen was doing his best to become one with the wall and the plaster hiding in a corner…apparently there were too many people there and he panicked…poor Aspie Teen…he was actually shivering in the corner…

Well this part almost turned into a nightmare cause we forgot our son’s transcript and of course the guidance counselor was by that time past the point where she could pretend to give a crap about anyone which automatically got my wife’s back up and I thought they were going to have a cat fight right there!

We ended up letting the guidance counselor leave, and talking to the Secretary about the special needs concerns we had. Well come to find out they really don’t have any special needs classes or programs EXCEPT  this UTTERLY ridiculous one that kids with autism or physical disabilities can take which trains them for skills in a job, and will give them a “regional diploma” but not a State diploma which means they can get a job in SC but that little piece of paper won’t be good for anything else or anywhere else!! NO WAY!

We get Aspie Teen home and we tell him the deal, and he agrees that he wants a diploma, but he was really freaked out by all the people there. (and that was only registration, all the kids weren’t even there!). At any rate, he is going to be home schooled again this year, but with an online school sponsored by the state.

We are continuing with the diagnosis process…he already has a diagnosis for ADD and we’re going to be getting an IEP for that…and once we get the A.S. diagnosis get one focused on that.

I’m tired just typing all that out!

Anyway I have to go…good night all!

 

I was reading a blog from Autism Daddy, who is one of my all time favorite bloggers (aside from my wife Aspiewriter of course). On his page he had a link to this post on Autism Parents & the Guilt Factor, which I thought was simply amazing. It was written by Jene Aviram of Natural Learning Concepts.  It is an excellent article that I think all parents and family members of people on the spectrum should read.

Autism Daddy made the point that this writers blog doesn’t seem to be widely circulated, and after reading this article I just thought I’d help in spreading the word around. I thoroughly enjoyed the article and hope you do too.

This paragraph especially got to me:

4. Acceptance
On asking adults with autism “What’s the single piece of advice you would give to parents of autism spectrum kids?” the answer is almost always a unanimous “Unconditional love and acceptance.” For just a moment, view your child’s perspective. Almost every action gets corrected. Almost every behavior is modified. Method of play is considered inappropriate. Self stimulatory behavior is often halted. Your child is constantly being told to think, talk and act in a way that is foreign to his inner nature. It can’t be easy to keep one’s self esteem intact. I certainly advocate teaching as many skills as possible to help your child function in life. However, it’s essential your child knows you believe he is perfect just the way he is. It’s simply unfortunate that others might have difficulty understanding him. Your child should intrinsically know the reason he’s learning new skills and altering his behavior is not because you want to change him, but because it will help others relate to him, grant him acceptance and allow him to lead a more productive life. The next time you feel guilty about not correcting your child’s behavior or mannerisms, remember that delighting in your child’s unique qualities is just as important as teaching appropriate actions.

I tend to yell at my oldest a lot. He automatically reaches the end of my patience from the word go. It’s not because I’m frustrated with him…it’s because I’m so frustrated with me…because I can’t teach him things that will help him NOT be teased, or NOT be ridiculed.

As a child I was never the one who fit in. I was the poor kid in second-hand clothing who had no idea what was going on in the world. Most of the time I didn’t have a TV, I wasn’t allowed to go to movies, trick or treat, go to parties (not that I was ever invited), participate in school activities or after school activities etc. etc. I hungered for acceptance, did things that I thought would get me that acceptance only to find out I was being used later on. I was the one everyone teased and who never fit in.

I never wanted my kids to have to go through that, and it was my job to teach them things to make sure that never happened. My kids however, are harder to teach. Every time I see my oldest, and try to teach him something, he doesn’t get it. Or can’t stop concentrating on the things he’s pondering to receive it. Our communication is blocked, not by language or understanding but by blocks I can’t understand or circumvent. My frustrations aren’t with him…it’s with my own failure. Luckily my kids still seem to love me. Sometimes those little acts of love they show me comfort and teach me much more than I think I’ve ever imparted to them.

This is why when I read this post I had to share it. If even one other person besides me gets something from it, it was worth it.

I live in a house which is dominated by Aspie’s and Aspie’s who all have fascinations with soft feeling things no less.  (Due largely in part to hyper-sensitivity issues).

The Then

For instance, when Aspie Teen was about two, he went and hid in our bedroom closet. About a full minute later, he came out holding my wife’s blue and green silk nightgown against his face like Linus from the Peanuts gang, his eyes wide open. He stood and there and proclaimed “MOM…it’s MAGIC!” And from that moment on my wife lost custody of her nightgown.

That obsession hasn’t lessened in all these past eleven years.

When Aspie Monkey Boy (the middle boy) was a baby, he received a very soft fluffy baby blanket. He would not lay on anything else besides that blanket from that point on. Not only that, but I couldn’t stop the wifey from taking it every chance she got.

Eight years later, Aspie Monke Boy will still go through the stores on shopping trips, rubbing his hands and face against soft items as he goes by.

The Now

For Christmas, Mrs. Aspie Writer got a plush purple fuzzy robe, a plush purple blanket, and VERY plush, VERY soft, fuzzy blanket that she loves to wrap around her entire body  at night. (Are you sensing a recurring theme here?) Nothing else I got her this year holds a candle to those three things.

Last night, Aspie Baby climbed up on the bed where mommy was cuddled up in her two blankets. He stripped out of his soft fuzzy one piece footsie pj’s, snuggled up beside his mommy, pulled the VERY soft purple blanket around him, being very careful to leave some to rub his face against, and started watching Smurfs for the 15th time that night. (I’m starting to sing the Smurf melody in my head at work now, thank you very much).

The Debate

I personally don’t get the fascination. As long as it’s not too scratchy, I can sleep on it, wear it, whatever. However, Mrs. Aspie Writer can’ even try it on, if it doesn’t first pass the touch test. As you may imagine this can get very frustrating for me. How many clothes out there are THAT soft really? Especially prior to buying them and having them go through the wash with fabric softener a few times? And you can’t buy anything online because of this. The result is when we go shopping for clothes with my wife, (and believe it or not I like to go clothes shopping), it ends up being me pointing out outfits and her touching them and giving me “that look”.

“That look” is a combination of “what are you thinking”, “are you nuts” and “no freaking way mister” all rolled up into  one  sarcastic semi-belittling look. Now it’s not always ” that look”, sometimes it’s just a matter of our tastes clashing, or her not seeing herself the way I see her, and not being able to picture herself wearing something that I’ve pointed out. We’ve done this for so long now, I KNOW what the issue is most of the time and most of the time, she will remember to tell me what the issue is with a piece of clothing.

Things To Remember

Aspie’s who deal with hyper-sensitivity issues have to live through so much on a day to day basis. Imagine sitting at your house, and you hear the filaments burning in the flourescent lights, you can hear the garbage truck that’s picking up trash all the way down the road. The TV your child has on upstairs, the one that’s on downstairs, the children playing, the tock clicking, the washer/dryer going. All these sounds going SIMULTANEOUSLY since Aspies who deal with hyper sensitivity issues have no filter that can tell their brains to process these sounds individually. They have no built in Fade button like on your car stereo where you can filter more sound to the back if you want.  Add on top of that the smell of the garbage can, whatever your kids are eating for lunch, the stuff down the drain in the garbage disposal, the bathroom someone just used. THEN on top of that you feel the label in the back of your tee shirt, the itchy scratchy feel of cheap fabric on your body as it rubs you every time you move. Here is a video that might help shed some light on it. (Though I’ve been told that this video still is not accurate because it introduces the sounds individually)

I believe my brain would melt and you would find me in a fetal position sucking my thumb and drooling.

Now our side of the story…We may be at work or school all day dealing with a myriad of things that really push us to the limits of our understanding, patience, will to live etc. We may work in a factory where our senses are bombarded all day or a busy office where the phone rings all day and the constant flux of foot traffic through our domain irritates the living s** out of us. At my job I supervise eight people. Our department has CONSTANT traffic through it. The doors are all locked from the inside and we have to get up and open them everytime someone wants in. My staff CONSTANTLY come ask me quetions about every little thing. My ADD brain is TRYING to focus on what I’m doing but I get interrupted constantly.   Some of us may work in customer service industries which is one of the most trying places to work. We have to deal with all sorts of people from nice one’s who are a pleasure to ones that we want to follow and attack from behind. Tt the end of the day, all those things are external and we possess the ability to block it out to some level of success, but it’s VERY tiring and exasperating for us as well. It’s exhausing mentally and physically. And then we come home to have to be dad, husband, honey do-er as well. We know you’ve been run through the mill all day. But so have we.

Possible Solution

When your partner gets home…give them 20-30 minutes to unwind. Then pass the reigns over to him and get out of the house for a while.  Partners who are left behind: let them go! They need time too! Come together later and discuss the challenges you went through that day and how you felt going through them. This will help both sides understand what they deal with on an daily basis, and create more empathy for each other. Aspie’s don’t lack empathy after all…they crave it.  As for the fuzzy-ness. After dealing with all that stimuli can I blame my wife for using the fuzziness as a comforting tool? Of course I can’t. AND I might add that since she’s gotten the blankets, she’s sleeping more deeply and more peacefully than she has in YEARS. Unless of course Aspie Baby wakes up. LOL. We all need comfort. We all use different things to bring us that comfort…food…drink…distractions like books and tv’s or movies and music. At least with a good fuzzy blanket they can still snuggle you while simultaneously being wrapped in their fuzzy goodness.

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Food Fun For Feeding Therapy and Picky Eaters

Anjeawhat?

gettin' by on a wing and a prayer

A WEEKEND HOME

Searching the world for an affordable weekend home, with a little pop culture thrown in for good measure

thegamesmybrainplays

A blog about living with a TBI, epilepsy, Aspergers, and anxiety

Grady P Brown - Author

Superheroes - Autism - Fantasy - Science Fiction

Squooze

Cakes, cats, crafting and oftentimes crippling social anxiety. The life and times of a late-diagnosed, unapologetically autistic, mid-30s girl, tired of trying to fit into an NT world. Sometimes grumpy. Always tired. My cat thinks I'm awesome.

wildlyrandom

Our camping trip in British Columbia, Canada, including a drop down to Yellowstone National Park.

Galoms

Know the world around you

Toys Are Tools

Thoughtful Reviews on Educational Toys, Games, and Gadgets

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